back with the old...

i'm actually talking about my old face care routine. 
almost year ago, i started using the nivea visage line to take care of my face. it was amazing. those months were when my skin was its most glorious. it was glowing, plump and just zero-zit. it consisted of a normal to combination facial wash, the accompanying toner and the Q10Plus day and night creams. Wow, I must say, I felt like I was 10 years younger with that healthy skin. however, that seemed like a dream turned nightmare the day the day cream ran out.
and so, even if i wear makeup everyday, since my skin was at its best, i took the opportunity to try out other moisturizers. then other facial wash, and toner, when i eventually ran out of my other visage friends. the night cream was the only one surviving, as you don't need to use that much during the night, that it came to a point when i started to leave it lurking at one corner of the dresser. it just seemed appropriate at that time.


so, hello, new products!


and, hello, zits!


big, chunky, meaty ones started to grow on my cheeks, with some more smaller ones sprinkled on the rest of the surface, as if they complement each other. i thought it was okay at that time, since i was practicing on how to conceal blemishes via makeup. the first week was productive, i got to learn how to cover those ugly bumps using concealers. it would be a great plus for me as an aspiring makeup artist, as not all your clients have perfect skin.
then after a few more weeks, more and more zits. what happened? what was behind these unsightly devils in my face? i have never been this bumpy my whole life! i have occasional ones, yes, one per month, when my period is about to start. but this much??? 
was it because summer is just around the corner (the time it all started) but it's already 35 degrees Celsius? i was probably producing more sebum than the usual? was it because i tried new products? i did try different makeup - foundation products mostly as i wanted to test products before i put them on the clients' faces. was it just stress? was it hormonal? was it because i just got to try having some because everybody just got to undergo a hateful feeling of acne-laiden face? 
i now understand how it feels like to be ashamed of your face. my hubby, who now sports craters on his face due to a bad acne problem during his teens, told me he wouldn't make eye contact with people he talked to because he hates the idea that they're looking at his face. isn't that sad?
i had tried new facial cleaning routine. oil cleansing method (OCD), which actually, unexpectedly worsened the situation. perhaps the massaging of my face was the culprit. i was actually spreading the bacteria all over my face! thinking that wiping my face off with a wash cloth will do the trick. but no. i must've used it wrongly. what i love though about OCD is that it got rid of my whiteheads and blackheads. that's when i realize i have humongous pores, too. 
so it's been three months of learning how to conceal blemishes cum feeling so ugly. and now i think, pimples have stopped growing. i had been makeup-free for the last week, with just the slightest moisturizer to keep the skin from chapping. i thought, with my skin, about to be back to its balanced state, almost, i guess, it's time i go back with the old. the old routine. the nivea visage ritual.
and im crossing my fingers.